Birthdays

Before she died my mom confessed somewhat wearily about the imaginative child they (ostensibly she) had raised. She said regardless what they did for me or bought for me she felt like it wasn't enough because whatever they did, it didn't match the vision in my little head, so I was disappointed.

I was hit with a horrible wave of guilt because she was right. Regardless of the situation, the world rarely matches what is in my head and I am either frustrated or disappointed. I can't imagine combatting that reality as a parent. I mean coming up against a wealthier parent who does amazing things for their own kid is manageable....step parents are also something to explain away...but how do you train a child to THINK differently.

Then we go into boyfriends & birthdays. Pretty succinct conversation as there weren't many. Suffice to say the two which made an impact were enough. I remember planning a camping trip, all packed when flowers arrived. HUGE bouquet of yellow roses. Why? He didn't have the money to drive down to go camping with me. What I found out later is he went driving with a friend, a few parties and bought a cat. I blame this one. I truly do. I also HATE receiving flowers, most specifically yellow roses which at one point were my fav!

Poor Mike. He LOVES getting stuff and his birthday is right around our bonus time and he gets stuff! His wish list for his birthday starts in January. Vegas has been a fav destination for the minx. A few parties. New car stereo. All affordable.


Around my birthday, the bonus is gone and we are without surplus funds. Due to the previous dickhead, I prefer NOT to be home on my birthday. Living in the PNW I would just drive to whichever state I was not living in. Or even to Canada where I had a passel of relatives who were more than willing to get together on a summer night & eat & drink. The best birthday EVER was our trip to Chicago. Our plans were to meet my sister there from S Carolina & then go & watch the recording of my FAV show, Wait Wait, Don't Tell me! My sister couldn't make it for the first day. Mike & I arrived at the hotel & went walking to the park where the show was to be performed. Melinimium Park. Right in the middle of Chicago. Though we were hours early, we sat & watched the preparations. We were in the 3rd row. So we stayed. As it was a free event, we figured why not. In the long run, over 11,000 people showed up that Thursday night to see/hear the show. We stayed within the first few rows....spectacular. I tell Mike he got off easy as the tickets were FREE! Beautiful Chicago night, with a crowd of quasi like-minded people, and within stalking distance to Peter Segal & Carl Castle! I mean what else would an NPR Geek want? Best birthday EVER.

I want to end it on that note. Unfortunately especially with my mom gone, my birthday is a giant suck hole....laugh.

I will say last year's was funny. 10 days before my birthday I had gall bladder surgery. Not horribly bad. The surgery itself was easy, was over that in a day. The recovery knocked the shit out of me. What is awesome for me is either the book for Harry Potter or the movies were released on or near my birthday...how friggin great is that? I got out of bed to got to Chilis for dinner (it was what I could eat & not barf) & then the HP movie with Mike & a friend. The awesome part is when Mike's most recent birthday came to be planned, I was ready. "What are we going to do for my birthday?", I was asked. "Honey, the same thing we did for my birthday!". His face looked puzzled "What did we do?". "Dinner at Chili's and the latest Harry Potter movie". Not New Orleans, not a big party, not Vegas....the same thing I got...Dinner at Chili's and a movie. LAUGH.