Sunday, April 25, 2010

Where you live

We just returned from Seattle. I am a Navy brat who ended up in the PNW whereas Mike started out in the South & ended up in SoCal. We are both water babies living in the High Mountain Desert area. Talk about fish out of water...

Arriving in Seattle it was a rare sunny day. What strikes me about going from a small town to a city is the ugliness. Regardless of the area, the cityscape surrounding the airports is sometimes dank. What was awesome is we got lost getting from the car rental place to the highway & ended up in the most forest lined neighborhoods. I was relieved to feel HOME. I miss the PNW with the force of the first night away from home at 10 years old. It is not a wistful memory laden past seeking yearning, it is an honest sigh of returning to a place where your heart is at peace.

Mike had found a place I had never been to of course EAT. I sat amongst the Seattle cool people waiting for the cafe to open & I felt sad...I don't do this in Utah. Sit in line at a cool place reading Henry James....I felt at a loss. Then I remembered that if I would have continued to live in Seattle and would have stood in a line waiting for something, I would have MOCKED the person reading Henry James. I felt relieved.

The best part of my visit was the coast. My brother caught me standing in the middle of his neighborhood street standing face up in the misty rain. "Um, you ok?". Joyfully at peace I assured him I was fine. I explained later we truly live in the desert. I don't think they got it. Mike stood fishing off my brother's dock all day. My brother pointed out to me Mike's left side which was soaked due to the wind and rain. I understood both my husband's peace in the rain and my brother's incredulity of Mike's lack of concern for the rain.

Walking around Seattle reminded me of the joys of city living. The little interesting parts of city walking which lightened my heart. Even looking back I was thinking that Salt Lake doesn't offer those quirks....I have walked the city. I am now vocal about moving back to the place where my heart is quiet with joy.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Needs

Funny how things happen. Regardless what any religion professes, things do happen for a reason.

I heard an interview on NPR from a Rabbi who was talking about his previous book entitled "When Bad Things Happen to Good People". He described his view of God. Meaning is he a benevolent being who watches over us constantly or is he a vengeance seeking entity who searches for the evil in all of us. The Rabbi said that his image of God is a Father who created a family and watches helplessly as things out of his control happen.

I like that. We worry way too much what God is doing as he evaluates us for the afterlife. TODAY is what we live for.

This is leading up to getting my hair cut & talking about choosing our environment and your experiences. We were both talking about de-funking our lives. It just hit me that we are in funks because we forget to workout to enhance our spirit....like skipping metaphysical yoga class too many times in a week. God that made me laugh....my little weakling spirit on a squishy mat contorting to gain strength....sweating its little spiiritual heart out next to the fully advanced spirit and feeling a little less than spiritual in comparison, yet making it into its little vehicle &n swearing off spiiritual yoga for a while.

We do give up spiritual working out almost like we don't feel we need a daily focus. But that is what makes us stronger and grow. (LAUGH, I mistakenly typed GROWL......freudian?)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Stuff

So I have been looking for things which bring me joy. You laugh at that idea, but for a quasi workaholic who has put everyone else's needs before her own since she was 8....joy is hard to find alone!

I bought a grow light. Coming from the PNW that seems absurd. I mean, hell...you stand still long enough moss does grow on you in the PNW. In the High Mountain Desert area, things are different. I am adapting. When I left Seattle I broke a relationship which was damaged irreperably. Molbaks. I cannot explain the joy I would feel making the drive on a Sunday to see what they had. This wasn't the yuppie one in Seattle,this was the real one out in what was then the wilds of Redmond...actually I can't recall the city, I recall the african violets. As with everything, it starts with my mother. She grew household plants without effort. She could not get african violets to bloom. I may be misquoting, but I think they are from the orchid family. Mom could grow them but could not get them to bloom.

With one of the first trips to Molbaks, I found some violets. HEH HEH HEH....I got my little pots and went to town. Mom had to give me advice....and I took it. Put them in clay pots and then water from the bottom. She was adament about that. I can't recall why, it doesn't matter why because I did it. They grew. So I felt enlivened. I went back to Molbaks, and they had different varieties...and I got them. Centuries ago in my first job this amazing woman got me intrigued with the different varieties of violets. Of course you have no idea of the varieties, but my mom and this wonderful woman who decided to make violets her retirement passion....I grew to know them as well.

Molbaks is difficult to describe. It is pretty much a comprehensive garden store which over the years chose to upscale their stock and yuppified their property. Want a plant? Why not get an imported pot to impress someone, AND we have cards that will suit every occasion. Yup....I was in love. As I found impressive success with BLOOMING violets I branched out and got different varities. My favorite was a deep purple flower with a white line around the leaves. Stunning.

When I left Seattle I had about 8 seasoned and mature plants. I couldn't move them in the van nor take them on the plane. I truly was devastated. Every once in a while, I ask my friend Anna how they are doing to which she replies with amazement that they still grow!

Totally different world here. The afternoon sun actually scorches plants in a window sill. I really do have blackout curtains to stem the damage the sun can do. It is amazing. But I have found little to no success gardening. I gave up. Until last year. I wanted herbs. I took that desire and lamely attempted to grow herbs in the best light in the basement (it made sense at the time). Yah....didn't work.

A few weeks ago I bought a grow light. Yup...I started my little herb garden praying it worked. An hour in the morning and a few after work I would lovingly water my little pots and make sure the light nursed the hidden seeds to success. I will say my doglets had unnatural curiosities about the pots. I did threaten whichever of the leglifters peed on my plants, they would not enjoy mommas anger.

With flagging enthusiasm I turned on the glow light two nights ago. Splashed a bit of water on them & went to the computer & television. Something struck me as odd....I looked at the pots...and there was GREEN! Yup, I am in the gardening realm again. It is such a huge excitement to me to see the little sprouts break out in the dirt. AWESOME. Let them grow...next time, violets!