I am not sure how to feel.....

Ok...so I have been making chocolate chip cookies since I was 15. I remember when & why I started to make them. My mom & dad played cards on Saturday night with friends. My dad & his friends made the mistake one day of flattering me on my cookies. HUGE mistake. So each time they played cards at our house, I made the bloody things. It shortly became a hobby.

In my little head I had a goal. There was a cookie shoppe (of course) in the Galleria of downtown Portland which had amazing cookies I thought. Me being still of adequate self esteem, figured I could make them. I think that 6 years ago, I achieved the same taste. Yes, I have been making these cookies for 28 years. I can imagine that there are derisive snorts out there regarding such a hobby. I can honestly say that my popularity was increased by these cookies.

I remember my mom finding a recipe for me which had coriander in it. I remember this because mom told me she remembered a cousin's sons names because it was "Cory, and errrrr". Did I mention I love my mom? Moving forward. I tried an amazing amount of recipes. I remember one time in my early 20's when the sales paper which then came in the mail had a section on chocolate chip cookie recipes, and a bunch of us went through them to decide which ones would be THE ONE. Secretly, I knew the coriander recipe would be well short of the ONE but it truly was great to hear the enthusiasm.

My grandmother was an amazing baker. Not really a sweet person, but knew it all. I suppose that everyone at my age or older had a grandmother like that. No wonder where I got it, but Gran was ascerbic, pushy and ALWAYS right. One day she told a friend of hers "John, my granddaughter is a bitch!" I looked at the ever so diplomatic John and without a second thought I said "John, genetics suck!". I will say I am the chocolate chip cookie guru of my sphere of influence. So, my grandmother gave me tips leading me to the successes I am enjoying today. 1) leave your eggs out to be room temperature 2) never beat the eggs more than they need to be combined or you beat them down 3) butter will make the recipe more cake like where margarine will make it more flat (I may have miffed this but it still sticks with me...no pun).

When I lived in Seattle (but worked in Bellevue) I began to make the cookies for people. Mostly for birthdays and such. I wrapped them in 2's in saran wrap then put them in a zip lock baggie. I remember a that time I offered nuts or no nuts. I was adament that I would not use walnuts....too bitter, I would command...only PECANS for my cookies. They became almost urban legend how good they are. People started demanding them. Serious..."Hey, why did you give Lisa cookies and I didn't get any??" I was truly amazed at the brazen audacity of some. Especially those I didn't like. Am laughing. Rules were formed about the cookies 1) You never ASK for the cookies 2) You don't TELL people you have them 3) I can always come & take one. I was making 6-7 batches a month, rules were a necessity. A friend once said that they are good because I make them with love. In my more bucholic of times, I agree. Logically I say it is the full page recipe and directions I have labored over which does the trick.

My mom didn't care for them. My sister does now, but I think that has come with time. Funny thing is who does or doesn't like them. A dysfunctional relationship I was in (yah like you weren'y ever) he hated them. Was wierd...so I never slept with him. LAUGH....sorry....I can feel my sister's anger right there...it wasn't happening regardless of the cookies. Oh...that was funny. My dad ate them regardless of the recipe I think to be a good dad.

Here are the pecularities of the recipe. It started out as the Guittard chocolate recipe. I, in my obsessive climb to greatness, augmented it:
If I really think about it, I use 1 cube of margarine and 1 unsalted butter...at room temperature (if I am running late & microwave the butter, cookies taste like shit).
DARK brown sugar...I really feel like it has a richer taste.
Room temperature eggs.....you didn't argue with Gran about this stuff. I STIR them in to the creamed sugar mix ONLY UNTIL COMBINED...Gran is right!
Imported vanilla....don't even mention imitation to me.
3 3/4 HEAPING c of flour. I don't want to talk about what a pain in the ass it is to find a 3/4 measuring cup. They don't exist. Right Shawn??
Shake of salt
3 c chocolate chip MIX...yes mix! I take 1 bag of semi sweet chips, 1 bag of milk chocolate chips, 1 bag of mini chips & 1 bag of dark chocolate chips. For some DAMNED reason, they don't sell mini chips in many places in Utah. 2 stores carry them consistently. I mix all of those together and then 3 cups.
Cook them on aerated pans. I got a set for Christmas from mom 20 years ago and I have swiftly berated previous roommates or current spouse for putting the $4.00 pizza on my $20 pans. 2 years ago, I found another 2 in a sale bin WITH a spatula for $10, I felt like that woman in the IKEA commercial......START THE CAR. They work. Look em up.
I only cook them until the tips are brown.
Take them immediately off the pan and put them on a brown paper bag. Don't ask...nearly 30 years...again you suck I rule!

A friend and I had a bake off one time. We both went around the call center with our cookies. He used FLAVORED chips....white chocolate mix....amateur. Was hilarious. NO ONE had the guts to choose. "If I was just having one I would eat his, if I had a jug of milk and in front of the tv...yours". Chickenshits everyone!

So, why am I not sure how to feel? I made some today and I offered them to a rep. He looked at me and said "Are you adopting?" I was worried he meant dogs as I am kinda in puppy mode. I asked for what? He said "You know a family...me, wife & kid" I didn't get it. "You have the gramma thing DOWN". I felt the world looking at him like he said the Venus de Milo was ugly...and everyone knew he was right. It truly did get silent....God was waiting.

I thanked him. In my head I realized this was an awesome Gramma thing to have down. I figured wow....this isn't all that bad. But I told him "Sure, but I don't like kids". Again, Gran was never wrong!

Be great to you!
H

One small thought...

Well, as small of a thought that I can give.

Why does an Ambulance have the word Ambulance on the front of it spelled backwards? OK OK...I see all the hands raised...I know you know...as do I.

It was done like that so that when you are driving you will be able to identify what vehicle is behind you. So lets look at that. You are driving down the road....and you hear this ROAR...not of noise but I am sure 8 cyl & a HUGE engine coming up on you. Forget they have a siren that was made to shake you up even OVER my cd of MY Perogative at volume 40, but there are friggin LIGHTS.

So I ask again....why does an Ambulance have the word Ambulance on the front of it spelled backwards. I may be over symplifying it...but I don't really give a shit what it is. At 15 (of whenever permits are given out now, one of the first rules you learn is regardless where you are or what direction they are coming, you pull safely to the side of the road when you see ANY Emergency Vehicle. EMT, Fire Truck, Police Car, Ben & Jerry delivery truck (sorry, my own Emergency vehicle)...you friggin move. You don't wait until you can read the damn word, you just pull over.

I can imagine the conversation which would occur when the officer tickets you for NOT pulling over for an Ambulance..."Well, I thought it was an Ambulance, but wasn't sure. I was WAITING to read the sign to see whether it was an Ambulance, THEN I would have pulled over". Right! I guess the lights, the speed AND the siren take AWAY my need to see the bloody (no pun intended) words over the grill of the vehicle.

Then don't get me started for those dumb asses who DON'T move. I watched at one point a Fire Engine trying to make a turn from the far right hand lane because the people in the left lane wouldn't move. I pointedly watched the driver's face. I was impressed not to see him mouthing vulgarities! Just get out of the damn way regardless of the vehicle.

Nuff said.
Be good to you.

Don't ask ME what BCS stands for!

I grew up with sports kinda foisted upon me. All weekend was spent with any kind of sports. The thrill of vistory and the agony of defeat all without a remote control

I struggled with it growing up. I tried to find a favorite team (Redskins....why NOT Thiesman...dude even now he is an appreciating view of a man). Of course I was born (in my adult eyes now, in the shadow of the Oakland Alamedia colasuim, so I did feel accepted by my dad being a Raiders fan. It was one of the few pasttimes we enjoyed together. My mom & I steered away from full fledged immersion. Mom read all Sunday. My mom played up her lack of interest....her team was the Rams because she liked the helmets. LAUGH....god bless her.

So I say this note to point out that when I was growing up through before my marriage I was not an atheletic supporter (of course I had to!). The love of my life is a sports enthusiast. I think that is understating it, but I move on. He gets about 10 minutes at a time during a game from me. I will watch the Fox sports show because Howie is on it as well as Terry (he does have a cute butt!). We watch that. I have actually started reading the Sporting News before Mike does.

When we vacation, I try to research which MLB parks we can go to and "tag up". Mike, Shawn and I are still in competition with eachother on who has been to the most MLB parks. I think I have one more than Mike (Camden Yards...7th row, 3rd base line during the LAST season for Cal Jr. brief prayer). When we met Shawn in Chicago, we had tickets to see the Cubs (Wrigley friggin field...the IVY!) and the Sox before we had hotel reservations. Cubs I was in awe of the pure American history in the building. God forbid the nostalgia that is found in a Chicago Dawg. Though without the history and nostalgia, I could only stand like 5 innings in the White Sox stadium.

This brief note because I received a comment about the Sugar bowl & other college "championship" games. I hadn't the ability at the time to refute that. Let me state for those in the know, that I live in Utah about 5 miles from the stadium where the (undefeated) University of Utah Utes play. I do have support for the team. I also attended the University of Oregon (PAC 10) so I follow their games. Stating that, I feel again those in the know are nodding with why I didn't respond to the College bowl game comment. After the bruhaha died down (the game AND the commentary was replayed here a week after the Utes won), I felt anger (as I did when the Ducks were denied 4 years ago). I still am laughingly supporting Mark Shurtleff who is attacking the BCS's monoply over college football in the courts (Go with god Mr Shurtleff!).

So, how do I feel about college bowl games? Like everyone else who bleeds for a team in the Mountain West, PAC 10 and other disenfranchised NON South areas.....it is lame and not a competition. It is voted on by sports casters and there is no set play off. If you have ever been to a college sport game, it is the TRUE passion of the sport. And instead of WORKING for a title, the opportunity to play for a facade of a championship is VOTED to you.

That is why this illiterate non-sports fan will NOT support the bowl games. Watching the Utes dominate their game and come out 4th in one poll (note even rated in the Sporting News poll, which I told Mike to cancel his subscription for their assinity). I guess my thought is any entity which cannot with consistency and surity NAME their champion, is sad.

Be good to you!