There are always things you notice (or are sent in a huge email) that just strike you as dumb. One which was pointed out to me years ago started me noticing the somewhat assanine trivial things in life. In restrooms where they have the "automatic towel" machines, where a continuous roll of towel is pulled down...there is a notation...nah, sad but true a WARNING, stating NOT to insert your head into the loop of the towel. Honestly I thought that I normally see those machines in rest stops along the highways or in really seedy bars, so there may be some merit to those warnings. But if you are that drunk (I can see my friend Ros & I daring someone to do it years ago) to put your head in that loop, I imagine the warning is moot as your eyes are so crossed you wouldn't notice it.
So, I was in the restroom praying and I looked at the toilet seat covers. Lo & behold "Provided by management for your protection"! Being an ever so low part of management, I was somewhat embarassed to be lumped in to that gratuity due entity. I mean come on, if I were providing something for protection, it wouldn't be a water permeable toilet seat cover. I know I have "embarassed" myself a few times in those afore mentioned seedy bars (after trying to put my head in that fucking towel loop) attempting to 1: pee pee dance and pull out ONLY one of those protective sheets 2: place it properly on the seat (to maximize protectability I suppose) and 3: keep it in place while I struggle to get my pants down (I was never dumb enough to drink in a skirt as I tumble in heels). In public (like they are in private) restrooms where I want to appear safe, I pull one from the wall & wad it up instead of using it....then the restroom monitors will certainly give me an A.
I approached a few of my employees that day. "I am expecting a Thank You". After enough of the exasperated stare, I said "Because I provided you with the toilet seat protectors". Dubious, I walked a few in to the restroom ever so proud of my accomplishment as a manager. Needless to say I think THAT story spread with some quickness. I think I will put that on my monthly evaluation "Provided safety" and let it go. I feel I have done my part.
Now in using one of those things, I feel compulsed to separate the little uvulua like thing from the center oval (thank you to the 1 person who is at least getting what I was trying to spell there). If not, won't the pee roll off of it & on to YOU....now THAT is unsafe. I think I am one of a very small minority who separates the center thing before proper placement. It just seems like I am following the rules when I do that.
Does this mean I am LESS considerate as I don't provide them to guests at my HOME? Wow, I am certainly not a good hostess then. I shudder to think if Costco has a gross of them so I can have them on stock. I can't hang them on the back of the door as I hang my towel & bathrobe there. OOOHHHH.....Idea for Glade....scented ones with ever so discrete dispencers placed possibly on the SIDE of the home toilet so your guests can relax, enjoy and BE SAFE all from YOUR consideration. The mind never stops working!
I have shared this story with a friend & we were in a restroom later & both noticed & laughed...you will too next time!
Be good to you.
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2 comments:
Oh my hell that is funny. The sad reality of it all, is that every time I go into the bathroom I think of the same thing. Now you have put it into words for me, I don't need to. Thank you. From all of us on the bottom, thank you!
OMG Heather D- What I only dare to think- you say best!
LOL-
Now, I must wonder- Are you actually one of the restroom monitors?
Surely if you were - you would fail those who talk on their cell on the khazi??
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